Old Man Death

He’s been walking around rather close lately. Recently a dear friend and one-time neighbor of mine lost her husband, and then we got news that my husband’s father has died, having battled long and hard with diabetes and liver troubles. The truly sad thing about that news is that we had no clue he was in such bad health. It wouldn’t be so bad a few years ago but now that we have internet, not receiving news is nearly a crime. I have one email address for my husband’s family and I have sent things there from time to time. My family frequently shares around some of the cute emails I’m sure we all get at times, and as soon as I had my brother-in-law’s email, I included him these emails. It is a way of staying in touch without writing letters all the time. At least you know the person you get these messages from is alive and that’s important to me anyway. A short time after I started this, he sent me a message asking me to stop, stating he was constantly having issues with viruses, as if I would ever send along something with a virus in it, but all right, if that’s the way he wanted it, so be it – end of hearing from my in-laws. Hmmm

My daughter-in-law is looking into the history of the family. My niece is doing the same thing, so there is some information about my side of the family but in her efforts to find information on my husband’s side of the family, she has been rather stumped. However, she has in the past called my mother-in-law in the hopes of gleaning some information. I guess they were much more comfortable with a phone number than an email address because it was through my daughter-in-law that we got the news of my father-in-law’s death. But even over the phone, there was no information. It wasn’t until I sent an email, hoping it still worked, that we learned about the health issues, information which I shared with my two boys since they were both quite concerned.

To further the sadness of this issue, my daughter-in-law dug a little deeper. She found an online obituary for my father-in-law that allowed people to post their thoughts and memories about the man. No one had posted a thing. I couldn’t. I’d only met him once. I didn’t know him. What am I supposed to write. ‘He was a nice man’? That sounds so two-dimensional – so weak. As I understand it, he had a care taker near the end, and for the last weeks/months he had moved into her home so she could watch him closer. Not even she had commented. That tells me that either no one knew of this site (possible) or no one knew what to say about the man. Sad – to go, and have touched no one. My husband hasn’t even called his mother. He doesn’t know what to say either. What do you say to someone who has been a stranger for more than thirty years?

Old Man Death visits us all. We all know it and we all struggle against it. It’s what we do. I feel my father-in-law struggled too, and with pride. He refused to go to an old folks home. A decision I take my hat off to him about, but I certainly hope I manage to touch a few more people, and not just because of my books.

As I said, Death comes to us all. Touch someone, before you lose the chance.

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Published in: on April 14, 2012 at 7:47 PM  Comments (4)  

Gay? Who’s business is it?

Are you gay? Man or woman, are you? Whose business is it anyway? In the course of your normal day, who will notice? Have you gone to a hotel, motel or some other equivalent accommodation with your partner and checked into a single room with two or more beds, and then have you messed the second bed in an effort to hide the fact that you really slept in only one bed? If you have done this, I’m curious, who are you trying to impress? Believe me, the only people who notice (and can tell) which or how many beds were slept in is the person who comes in to make or change the bed, and believe me, she’d much rather change just the one bed, but since the second bed was mussed, she has to change that one too. You know, you spark much more gossip by doing that than simply acting like the couple you are.

And another thing. This new bill they are trying to get passed. Equal employment no matter the work place. Do you realize what you will have to do now every time you apply for a job, what we all will have to do? Now you’ll have to put your sexual preference on your application and in your resume. Are you really ready to take that step? I mean really, sex does not enter very many work places, so what does it matter. I know one man who is openly gay and he is an awesome chef. It’s obvious to me that his orientation has no affect on his work. No, I’m going to resist getting crude, even here, where no one will ever read it.

They want to use the example of a transvestite getting the job to teach small children. Kids don’t care either, and I’ve seen some pretty impressive examples of men dressing like women and looking very nice. I’ve also seen some pretty bad examples, but that’s beside the point. I’m fairly certain this transvestite isn’t going to be teaching cross-dressing to his students. The subject will never come up and the kids may never learn any different.

My husband is totally against gays in the military. I don’t see why, but we don’t argue about it. If you ask me, if a gay man wants to fight for this country, he should have every right, and if he maybe finds a gay partner, fine by me. That’s between those two. You can’t tell me that a male soldier hasn’t found an accommodating female partner at some point during their tour and no one finds anything wrong with that. Do they have sex in the PX? or down in the rec room in front of the TV while everyone is watching? Of course not. Do they stop shooting at the enemy to have mad passionate sex right there on the battlefield? Of course not. Everyone knowing everyone else’s sexual orientation is just plain dumb. I say mind your own business. Conduct yourself professionally in the working environment and keep what transpires in your bedroom, in your bedroom.

Published in: on March 28, 2012 at 11:06 PM  Comments (2)  

Mortality

Sad news today. I just learned that a dear friend of mine lost her soul mate this last Sunday. He’s had close calls before over the last few years, so it’s not as if we all didn’t see this coming, but still when death strikes so close, it’s a reminder of just how mortal we all are.

Every year, we all get a little older. Every day that passes brings us just another click closer to the end. Am I worried about death? No, I am not immortal; I know I will die one day. Will I go quietly? Not likely, however I certainly don’t look forward to a long, painful fight. I mean, if taking millions of dollars of pills to preserve my life for a few more months or not doing so, I think I’ll opt for the not. There would have to be some pretty convincing arguments for me to go that route, such as at least a 90% chance of success, and providing I still have many years to look forward to anyway. Ah well, I am habitually healthy so I doubt I’ll have to worry about that.

My dad died of a very sudden and instantly fatal heart attack. It surprised us all with absolutely no warning. My mom died also rather suddenly but we had some warning there. She had an aneurism in one of those big blood vessels just off her heart. She would feel the pain in her back. It was being treated but still, it was a tragedy waiting to happen. It finally did in 2007.

It was the same with my girlfriend’s husband. He’d had more than one heart attack and been in heart surgery more than once too I believe, being fitted with a pacemaker and all. So this day was fated to happen.

Other people I personally know have lost husbands. It always reminds me of just how mortal we all are.

Other people I know have been diagnosed with cancer. So far they have all fought it off. Still, it’s a disturbing issue. Are we (humans) now living long enough that only the evil cancer is the last killer disease? The other things we die from merely striking first? Do they really have a cure for most cancers but are withholding it so they can make more money by treating symptoms? Questions I’ll likely never know the answer to.

Mortality? Life is a circle. We are born, we live, and we die.

Life is a Circle

In the newness of our time, we swim
In the first quarter of our time, we crawl
In the fullness of our time, we walk
In the last quarter of our time, we rest
Life is a circle
We rest, that we might remember how to swim

Death walks at our shoulder
He reaches for some of us sooner than others
The touch of Death can be a quick slap
The touch of Death can be a slow caress
Life is a circle
Rest, ye weary soldiers that you might remember how to swim

God is our Lord
His plans for us are a complicated weave
In His wisdom, he plucks one from here that he may place one there
Sometimes the thread of our life needs must be short and sometimes long
Life is a circle
Swim with long strokes that your next thread will hold God’s weave

In the dawn of our time, we curl in the security of our womb
In the morning of our time, we learn to laugh and cry at our world
In the noon of our time, we learn to rile and rage at our life
In the evening of our time, our touch has been felt
Life is a circle
It is time for us to teach the young to laugh
It is time to shed a tear for all those we have lost
We shed a tear so that we may remember how to swim

For without tears, there is no swimming

Published in: on March 20, 2012 at 7:24 PM  Leave a Comment  

Well now…

So, I get this email that says I have a new follower. I’ve never received such an email before, not from anything other than Facebook anyway. Lo and behold, this blog still exists. I thought I’d deleted it long ago. Well, since it’s still here, I suppose I should do something with it. I wonder what that will be. I’ll have to think about it. Any suggestions are welcome. Oh, and just so you know. This has GOT to get a new name, if I can figure out how to do that. That’s why I abandoned this. WordPress is so confusing.

We’ll see how long it survives this time.

Published in: on March 18, 2012 at 6:35 PM  Leave a Comment  

Hello world!

Welcome to another corner of my world.

Published in: on September 28, 2009 at 9:18 PM  Leave a Comment